Working on Relationships: 3 Ways to Get Back Into the Groove

When love gets lost it’s difficult to find your way back to each other. Read on for three tips to reignite the flame.


Relationships are work. They may look easy and perfect on social media, but if you have a great love life it’s because you’ve worked for it.

Love is no different than anything we want in life; we have to give it attention and our time. If you don’t water it, it won’t grow. I’ve been caught in the ups and downs of being in a committed partnership. We have amazing days and down days too. We forget to take out the trash, we pay our mortgage the day it’s due, our back yard is a jungle, and the laundry sits for days on end. But that’s life. You always have to readjust and keep working at it because great love is rare and always worth fighting for.


I don’t claim to have it all figured out when it comes to love, but there are a few things that have helped bring us back from tough times.

1. Have awkward conversations

I once heard a quote saying something like your life grows in proportion to the amount of awkward conversations you’re willing to have. Are you willing to talk about the hard stuff? Tell your partner you’re afraid, worried, something is off, get vulnerable and deep. This is something that I’ve always struggled with, but force myself to do now because I’ve found someone who’s worth it. The more awkward the conversation, the closer you’ll get afterwards. At least that’s what I tell myself!

2. Schedule time together

Life is busy, right?! It seems weird you would have to actually schedule date nights or time together but it’s almost 2019 and that’s just the reality of most of our situations. I noticed that if we don’t schedule time together and actually plan for it, it doesn’t happen. It’s easy to just exist instead of growing and evolving together and doing things you both enjoy. In our house we made Friday night date night, non negotiable. We take turns planning it each week. Even if it’s a movie at home or playing cards in front of the fire it’s time together and that’s what’s most important.

3. Do the thing you need the most

Have you ever caught yourself wishing for love letters or an amazing night on the town? Only to find your partner isn’t doing any of the things you really want. When you start hoping and wishing for these things take inventory of yourself first before pointing the finger at your loved one. When was the last time you planned a date or left a sweet note? It can be easy to point out everything that’s missing instead of what’s going right. Take the first step and do the thing you’re wanting. You’ll be surprised by the result!

How have your brought the spark back to your relationships? Share in the comments below. 

Related Reads: How to Eliminate Regrets and Take Positive Action, Crystals to Help Attract Romance and Love, and Reawaken Your Passion with Exercise and Natural Sex Products

CAT GOLDEN started Nine Lives Health and Mind to help others feel like the absolute best version of themselves. She has a background in pediatric nursing and now does her wellness business full time. She does this through working with individuals and groups conducting weight loss programs, help with athletic performance, increased energy and mindset training. She has been a fitness enthusiast for the last decade and believes that where focus goes energy flows. Focus on gratitude and moving your body and watch how your life can change! (You can also see posts from Cat under The Resource Girls)

Photography: @lyssalefflerphotography