There are a slew of ways that negativity can influence our lives; a pessimistic friend, a cruel inner monologue – even an out of control closet.
As our spirit begins to retreat and prepare for the restorative winter months, there is a lot of external energy that can begin to feel too heavy to us. Negativity is an exceptionally heavy energy. Sometimes, it can even make us feel out of control. Exhausted. Unmotivated. Lethargic. Sad.
If you feel the need to unhook negativity’s crippling grasp on your life, evaluate your personal and professional life with a metaphysical microscope, and see if you can spot the situations or circumstances that feel heavy to you.
Try to pay attention to your texts and phone calls
Do you ever get off the phone with someone and just feel beat? Maybe your mother likes to vent her frustrations to you, or maybe your girlfriend is always negative about her boyfriend or job. When you tap your phone to hang up, take a second to check in with yourself to see how you feel.
Do you feel heavy after that phone call?
When it comes to negative influences in our lives, we’re often reminded to be mindful of the company we keep. But now, in this highly digital age, this extends to the company we text, call – even tweet. You better believe negative energy can be sent out to us via the internet!
The next time someone calls you (or texts you), take a moment before answering to energetically protect yourself. Envision zipping yourself up in a golden cloak, shielding your energy with its impenetrable armor, and repelling anything that may be sent your way.
If you feel strong or bold enough, think about letting your companion know that you would prefer to focus on the good things happening around you rather than what isn’t going so well.
Keep a tidy bedroom
Nothing breeds negativity like a chaotic, out of order environment. The flow and energy of the room will grow stale and heavy, tripping up on all the junk around you. It’s hard to motivate yourself or stay positive if the space you dwell in doesn’t inspire happy thoughts.
And the nagging thought of cleaning can actually make you feel worse, right?
Start slowly. When it comes to healthy energy, the most important room in the home is the place you sleep. If this space is messy, when your body recharges at night, that negative influence of your messy space seeps into your time of restoration. The flow of energy in your room doesn’t help replenish you, rather, it detracts from your time of restoration.
You may even wake up feeling tired, negative – or heavy.
Every night before you go to bed, ensure you have a tidy room to sleep in, so you can actually feel restored when you wake up. Put your clothes away, clear your night table, make the bed if you haven’t – even if you’re just going to crawl back into it.
Tackling the rest of the messiness will be more doable if you feel charged up and rested.
Know your boundaries
It can be hard to set boundaries for yourself if you don’t know what your boundaries are. If you find yourself in a negative space, try to pay attention to when your inner monologue turns pessimistic. If you can catch yourself thinking negatively or feeling heavy, take a moment to step into a place of self-awareness and acknowledge that your personal thoughts have turned negative.
Now ask yourself – why am I feeling this way? What influenced these thoughts?
When you take a moment to look at your thoughts and what has influenced them, you can begin to understand what your spirit needs in order to develop personal boundaries. Are you overwhelmed with all the things you need to do? Do you feel unattractive or out of shape? Are you frustrated that no one is listening to you?
Once you’ve identified the root of your inner heavy feelings, you can create an action plan that brings your power back to you by setting up personal boundaries, like saying no when you don’t actually want to do something, actively putting healthy things in your body, or expressing to your people that you feel unheard.
You deserve to have boundaries, and outlining your boundaries can dramatically enhance your feelings of positivity.
Choose your words carefully
Our words have a lot of power. Things we speak become true. And more often than not, we talk about ourselves in a negative way that we would never actually speak to someone else. Then why is it OK to be so cruel to ourselves? It’s important to nip negativity at the root.
Watching the vocabulary we use is really challenging. You can begin to pay attention to your words by practicing automatic writing. Try sitting down with your laptop, and type about anything that pops into your head: your feelings, your frustrations, your goals. Don’t edit, filter, or reread anything you’ve written until you have completely finished expelling your thoughts. If you can manage it, don’t even look up at your screen until the very end. Only once you’ve completely expelled everything you have to say, go back and read what you have written. See if you’re surprised with some of the words you chose.
After reading your personal thoughts, do you feel heavy?
The next step is re-reading your emails before you hit send. Re-evaluate your words to see if they could be interpreted another way, and soften some of your sentences. Instead of being overly direct and saying do XYZ this way, try restructuring your sentences in a way that promotes suggestion, like, why don’t you try doing XYZ this way.
The final step is to take this style of offering direction and applying it to yourself and your personal thoughts, so you, too, can be gentler in how you speak out loud and inside. How we speak to others can influence how we speak to ourselves if we practice self-awareness.
Seek out a black crystal
Crystals are energy conductors. They can help influence positivity, improve our vitality and they can protect our energy from others. Black crystals are almost exclusively negativity absorbers. They absorb bad vibes from others, or even from yourself. Many of them will also cloak you in an energetic shield of protection, not letting anyone else’s toxic energy leach onto your own.
A black crystal can be your personal amulet to help keep you accountable in improving your levels of positivity.
If you’re feeling low, negative, heavy, or lacking energy, keep a black crystal on you either in jewelry or tucked safely in your pocket. At the end of the day, energetically cleanse your crystal to remove all the energetic build-up it accumulated.
My favorite black crystals are:
How do you deal with negativity in your life?
VANESSA KUNDERMAN is an openhearted writer and storyteller who inspires others to discover their own paths and personal stories. She has a diploma in Creative Communications, and teaches at the University of Winnipeg. Her website, Rogue Wood Supply, is a large resource of modern spiritual practices centered around crystals, botanicals, and the moon. As an intuitive and crystal guide, she hosts sacred women’s workshops, offers crystal readings, and shares weekly moon phase oracles online. Vanessa and her work has been featured in Refinery29, The New Moon project, Cottage Life Magazine, and more. She is a mother and cancer survivor living in the Canadian Prairies.